Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize