I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
