Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.