Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
where are you?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...