My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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