his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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