Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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