that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
