I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just gargled with NyQuil
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room