Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.

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(716): fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck. http://tfl.nu/62ha

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(904): View more from Florida

Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.

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(904): Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine. http://tfl.nu/7xom

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(802): View more from Vermont

good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...

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(802): good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy... http://tfl.nu/0srz

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(903): View more from Texas

I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer

(214): View more from Texas

... I'm KD

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(903): I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer (214): ... I'm KD http://tfl.nu/mzja

Replies (38) Good night (512) Bad night (2144)
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(305): View more from Florida

I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.

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(305): I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry. http://tfl.nu/el5m

Replies (65) Good night (936) Bad night (4457)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Her vagina smelled like bad decisions

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(704): Her vagina smelled like bad decisions http://tfl.nu/m5j1

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(862): View more from New Jersey

win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight

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(862): win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight http://tfl.nu/0j1g

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital

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(403): The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital http://tfl.nu/iqkh

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(256): View more from Alabama

I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.

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(256): I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self. http://tfl.nu/pw1v

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.

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(617): he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes. http://tfl.nu/atub

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(571): View more from Virginia

Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.

(571): View more from Virginia

just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom

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(571): Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night. (571): just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom http://tfl.nu/0d08

Replies (4) Good night (2022) Bad night (518)
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(330): View more from Ohio

He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.

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(330): He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet. http://tfl.nu/wg57

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(303): View more from Colorado

I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.

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(303): I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time. http://tfl.nu/ridr

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see

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(651): Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see http://tfl.nu/afr3

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?

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(202): Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina? http://tfl.nu/ofgw

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