Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(712): View more from Iowa

Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.

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(209): View more from California

kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"

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(847): View more from Illinois

2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

And to think..we used to do everything sober...

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS

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