Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  .....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......

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  (847): .....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party...... http://tfl.nu/uwbu
  Replies (7) Good night (1486) Bad night (4234)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter

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  (702): Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter http://tfl.nu/pr4p
  Replies (22) Good night (4318) Bad night (1197)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.

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  (734): she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help. http://tfl.nu/iorj
  Replies (29) Good night (1427) Bad night (5106)
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  (209): View more from California

  Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?

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  (209): Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on? http://tfl.nu/ru4x
  Replies (20) Good night (3659) Bad night (1349)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.

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  (502): I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time. http://tfl.nu/ujel
  Replies (10) Good night (5763) Bad night (897)
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  (415): View more from California

  sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.

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  (415): sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you. http://tfl.nu/c5wc
  Replies (24) Good night (5097) Bad night (1173)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.

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  (937): Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault. http://tfl.nu/6aqr
  Replies (11) Good night (2430) Bad night (1573)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg

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  (612): I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg http://tfl.nu/y2s5
  Replies (3) Good night (1762) Bad night (576)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?

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  (740): Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe? http://tfl.nu/3oc2
  Replies (10) Good night (2362) Bad night (833)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.

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  (910): I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect. http://tfl.nu/cd2m
  Replies (4) Good night (3073) Bad night (767)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.

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  (207): Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I? (1-207): I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me. http://tfl.nu/4usu
  Replies (5) Good night (2740) Bad night (807)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head

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  (616): At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head http://tfl.nu/if7o
  Replies (4) Good night (1582) Bad night (586)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.

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  (612): I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed. http://tfl.nu/r67y
  Replies (17) Good night (559) Bad night (1358)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.

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  (973): Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs. http://tfl.nu/4tj9
  Replies (9) Good night (811) Bad night (362)
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  (+81): View more from

  Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.

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  (+81): Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that. http://tfl.nu/zx1z
  Replies (3) Good night (527) Bad night (203)

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