ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
