just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
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Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
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Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.