WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....