i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.