its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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