does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You're like the curious george of whores
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
COCAINE IS GR8
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
