There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
