you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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