yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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