You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
