hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
