That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
