This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
