It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
