so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
