He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
