I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Randomize
