It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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