tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
