Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
