Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
