do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
