After last night, I could never be a politician.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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