She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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