Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
