I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
