Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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