I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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