Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
