it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
please don't ironically join a cult
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