I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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