Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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