i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
