im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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