she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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