I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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