This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
