hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
