come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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