tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
