I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
