I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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