This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
