is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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