I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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