I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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