No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
