i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
