Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize