do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
