Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
