i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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