Your tits are I can't wait for
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
