Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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