yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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