hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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