I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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