im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
