SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
