take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
